How to Make a Life Transition into A Life Transformation
Women experience many normal transitions in the life cycle such as moving from teens to young adults and separating and individuating from mom and dad and finding out how to be authentically themselves. In midlife, women move into the powerful transition of menopause and experience the fullness of their power as a woman. Often, this is when therapy or coaching can be transformative because left untouched, this woman might have had a much diminished life.
In Joyce’s case, at 60, she had experienced menopause in a normal fashion except that she was stressed out, exhaused all the time and as a result she was pushing herself to maintain her full time job as a nurse, wife and caregiver for her disabled husband. Her kids were in college close to graduation, but still needed support. She came in for an individual consultation and coaching. She realized she was going to lose her job when the hospital cut back. She was panicking about the financial stuff. On top of all this, she had fallen off a ladder resulting in a closed head injury. She was experiencing headaches, exhausting and fatigue.
Joyce joined the MOVING MINDFULLY THROUGH CHANGE group I lead. This was after a month of individual coaching. She had learned to slow down and practice mindfulness daily to get in touch with her feelings and release her stress. Once she unwound these difficult feelings what was scaring her was much more than financial.
Her emotional and relational experiences were stuck in many places in the past and she was experiencing depression, fear, and a whole lot of anger. She learned how to become curious about her anger instead of being afraid of it. In the group setting she felt safe then was able to express her anger and draw how things felt to her inside. This brought her into the awareness of what was really incomplete and raw inside of her.
As she practiced mindfulness walking and sitting, with the support of the group of women, she slowly started coming to peace with herself. She came to accept herself, and to practice loving herself using the tools of mindfulness. This is when the healing started to happen.
The next step on Joyce’s journey was to learn how to do the inner healing she needed to bring her life into balance. She decided to join my INNERWORK group to explore these tools of parts work, non-judgmental awareness and inquiry to explore her internal system. With individual sessions and the group, she got the support she needed to courageously look at the roots of her anger. As the oldest of a family of 8 children, she had been momma’s helper and had raised the early kids while Mom had been overwhelmed, overworked and abandoned by Dad. This Caregiver part of her had taken over her life and now she didn’t know how to move it back into a healthy role so she could get her own needs met in her relationships. This was the main “trailhead” that she focused on, however we discovered so much of the rest of her that was stuck, buried, neglected and ready to arrive back in her life as she nurtured it and gave it room to arrive again. Joyce began to change her life, step by step.