In the March 2011 Newsletter, I wrote about the need for women to find spiritual healing in their lives because the statistics are so high for women and abuse. One of the main symptoms of trauma are somatized parts that are in the body and block intimacy and hold fear, distrust, pain, shame. The good news is they can be cleared through spiritual healing so that healthy relationships can occur.
In the case of Beth, she came to me looking for tools for how to be healthier in her relationships, having met the “man of her dreams” at 26. A a successful young physican, working hard and smart, but was noticing how “crazy” her behaviors were towards this new man. For example, she would criticize him relentlessly until he walked out and play games testing him to be sure he was being true to her, to name a few of the ways she would block closeness with him. After three months of coaching, I suggested that we look more deeply at the “parts” of her that were acting “crazy” and see if we could “get to know them better.”
At my encouragement, she began practicing mindfulness in and outside of our sessions to be able to learn how to be present to these parts and be able to witness them. Mostly she realized she was running away from them rather than being able to get to know them. She was able to do this and developed a relationship with these parts that were “running her relationships” to keep her safe to prevent her from getting hurt like she had been hurt in many key relationships in her past.
It made sense to her that these parts were trying to protect her. As soon as she began to embrace and appreciate these parts, they stepped back and she came face to face with three “little girls” who were hiding, yelling, crying…etc. Over the next few months, Beth learned to witness, embrace and finally heal these three little girls who had been abused in these key relationships in her life. Each part shared its story with her until they had released all of the pain and shame they were holding. Throughout this process, Beth was growing more in her wholeness as a person and her internal system changed and evolved through her new presence of healing love which she was able to give to herself and to her parts. This is the spiritual healing that allows traumatized parts to be released and healed through the loving energy that we all have inside of us. This process took approximately one and a half years of working together. During that time, Beth got married to her lover and resolved many issues so that they were able to have a child together and move forward successfully together.